I Fail Therefore I Don't Try

How many times have you heard people you know automatically give up or assume the worst before they even try. Well, I see this too often and given the economic times, people seem even more beat up than before. I know that it is difficult to think positive when you have been searching for a job for months or concerned about losing your home; but when you approach a situation with a "I am going to fail" attitude, guess what you will. Sure this sounds harsh, but the truth can be harsh. The secret is that you do not have to be this person but it does require you to recognize what it is that you are doing and change it.

In addition to my regular employment, I also teach nights at a local community college. I see students of all ages and backgrounds who walk in already defeated on the first day. Last year in fact, I had a non-traditional student who was getting back into school after many years and was concerned that my class was going to be too difficult. On the first day of class, I was sitting on the bench outside of the room waiting to go in and set up. This student (not knowing I was the instructor) approached me and asked if I thought this class was going to be a lot of work (which is a normal inquiry) but her reasoning was because she did not know if she could handle it. She hadn't even seen the syllabus or assignment list but she already has put in her mind that she was not going to do well. Oh by the way, I teach Interpersonal Communication which is a freshman level class and not something like Bio-Chemistry. I understand that people are going to be successful at some things and not so much on others; but don't set yourself up for failure before you even try. I am passionate about this and therefore I decided to say something, especially since my brother-in-law made the following comment last night "Stressing over this damn college placement test. I know there are no grades, but I'm gonna fail anyway."

My bother-in-law is going back to school. He has been out of a "school" routine for quite some time now. As expected, he has some anxiety about starting college. As part of the process, he is required to take some assessment tests so the school will be able to properly recommend the right courses for him. Before he even saw the test, he already decided that he was going to do poorly.

You can't be perfect any everything, but you don't have to be the one stacking the cards against yourself. We have enough adversity against us without having to add our own mind talk to the pile.

I am reminded on another situation. A couple of years ago I had a couple football players in my class. There was a big game the next night and my footballers were already counting themselves out of the game. They were convinced that they did not stand a chance against this other school. I told them that they may win or lose but don't walk off the field before the coin is even tossed. After a few minutes, one of my students said that I had give them the best pep talk they have ever received. Although they did not win, they played the game with their heads held high.

If you are ever doubting yourself, just think about what the AZ Cardinals did in 2008. When no one believed in them, they believed in themselves.